


safety net

by kinpika



Series: merde, je t’aime tant [1]
Category: My Candy Love
Genre: Bit of stuff about nerves and consent, F/M, Mildly Suggestive, if that, originally written before valentines 2018 event
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-20 23:58:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14904617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinpika/pseuds/kinpika
Summary: Gigi feels the air leave her, something of her own kind of laugh, as she pushes the heels of her palms against her eyes. No need to cry. No need to stress. “You’re so weird.”





	safety net

Seven-fourty-two on a Saturday night, and Gigi finds herself standing in the bathroom of Castiel’s apartment, staring down the mirror. It wasn’t a matter of disliking her appearance, or worrying about a hair out of place. No, none of that. Rosalya had long since helped her perfect the art of makeup, and Gigi was quite aware that under her clothes, her underwear was more than cute.

Everything was going just far too perfectly, and it set her teeth on edge. Perhaps what was keeping her in the bathroom so long was the nerves — hand shaking, stomach clenching, sweat building kind of nerves.

“What is wrong with me?” she finally asks aloud, hands going to cover her face. It’s not like they hadn’t seen each other naked before, and in all kinds of state of dress beyond that! Time and place and perfection were all things considered and yet

Alexy and Rosalya had gotten into her head. All talk about first times and jokes about safe sex. A few comments thrown in about Castiel too, just to really rile her up. But Gigi hadn’t realised just how much it made her think, made her _worry_ , hours down the line.

Finally, a knock at the door. “Hey, little girl, you didn’t drown in the toilet, did you?”

Gigi can hear the smile in Castiel’s voice, and doesn’t stop the huff that leaves her. “No!” she shouts back. “I’m perfectly fine, thank you!”

There’s something that sounds like a ‘good to hear’, before his footsteps fade a bit. Maybe that was just the kind of jolt she needed to leave the sink, leave the mirror, shake off some nerves. Not all of them, but enough that Gigi’s able to turn to the door, open it up, step out.

Holds her hands behind her back, pulling at the fabric there. Castiel was just beyond the hallway, shuffling around in the kitchen. Probably putting away dishes, Gigi thinks, taking in a deep breath before following the noises. Nothing bad could come of this. It was supposed to only be good things, anyway.

He’s a lot quicker than most people give him credit for. A full smile — a thousand watts — hits her, accompanied only with a cheeky glint in his eye. At that, Gigi releases the material of her dress that she’d turned over in her hands, and reaches for him. Like she’s done so many times over, it’s just second nature. Castiel meets her halfway, dishes forgotten, as he cups her cheeks in his hands.

“Hey,” he says, voice low and rumbly and doing that thing that makes her knees go to jelly.

“Hey,” is her reply. The noise that leaves her isn’t wholly a laugh, and not quite a giggle, before they’re kissing, slow and steady. Controlled, as he’s walking them back. This was how it goes in all the books she’d read. Sex was so easy in books.

Gigi doesn’t remember making it from the kitchen to the bedroom. Her head kind of swims, and it’s a mix of scented candles that are hers, and the soft sounds of rock that’s his, filling the background. Her dress isn’t the kind that just releases and falls to the floor on command, like in movies, but Castiel’s hands are tickling her sides when she pulls it over her head. And his zipper doesn’t pop that easily, pants not shimmying down fast enough, like in shows.

A little voice asks why the rush, and she can only respond that she doesn’t know.

Settling on the bed first, pushing herself back to rest against the pillows, Gigi does take some time to convince herself not use her hands as cover. Or pillows. Or sheets. Twirls her fingers under material, and tries to keep her eyes on Castiel. Not how she now thinks the colour clashes with her skin, or that she should’ve chosen the lacy black instead of striped red.

“Your cheeks are so red.” There’s a tease under his voice, that’s laced with certainty and knowing steps Gigi isn’t sure of. She had already wallowed over things Rosalya deemed unnecessary, like Deborah and Castiel, but those fears prickled and

And?

She needed to talk. “I can’t help it.”

“‘course not. It’s because I’m here.”

Castiel hovers over her, hands either side and not quite touching. Kisses her, leads her. His hand is on her breast, thumb brushing over skin, and maybe tomorrow she’ll think it’s a stupid thing. But as he’s pulling the strap down, it’s a moment to freeze.

“Cas—I… I’m not sure if I…”

Gigi is speaking more or less into his shoulder, and she doesn’t want to look at his face. He’d probably be mad with her. After all this lead up, only for her to back out. Great, now her eyes were starting to sting a little.

Castiel pushes back to rest in a slight crouch, an unreadable expression on his face. But he’s looking her over closely, eyes staring at her too long that it really does feel like she should just burst into tears to get it over with. And then he smiles, a little crook in the corner of his mouth.

“I changed my mind.”

Blinking, and hoping nothing slid down her face, his comment took her by surprise. “W-what?” _Changed his mind?_ “Changed it to what?”

With a show of teeth that was probably a smile, Castiel throws himself down on the bed beside her. “We’re not having sex tonight. Not right now.”

It throws her for a loop. In everything she’d read, everything she’d researched, everything she talked about, this wasn’t something she had considered. This time she did cross her arms to cover her chest, not sure if this was a slight against the way she looked, or how she acted or—

“Stop overthinking, _Mercedes_.”

Just as she goes to chide him about calling her that, Castiel reached for her. Pulls her arms away from her and with enough force, encourages her to fall on top of him. A squeak leaves Gigi, as she hadn’t expected this. None of this. If she knew which way the night was actually going to go, she might’ve felt a little more comfortable.

Propping her chin up on his chest, Gigi can only stare at him. “What did you want to do, then?” Castiel is warm under her hands, and she rises and falls in time with his chest. His roots were beginning to show. Maybe they could do that tomorrow.

Something of a shrug happens, and Castiel slides an arm under his head, holding him up a little more. “We can just do this for now.”

“In our underwear?”

Castiel laughs, and hugs her closer if possible. “Hell yeah in our underwear.” And he pats her ass for good measure.

Gigi feels the air leave her, something of her own kind of laugh, as she pushes the heels of her palms against her eyes. No need to cry. No need to stress. “You’re so weird.”


End file.
